The Story of How I Became “Miss Jessica, Spanking Disciplinarian”
As most of you know, I have a commited, caring, attentive and obedient boyfriend. We’ve been together for 3 years and are getting ready to tie the knot! (Miss Jessica is totally girlish and excited about marriage.)
Kevin gets a bare bottom hairbrush blistering every week as a strong reminder of what will happen if he messes up. When he DOES mess up, I punish him on the spot and again that evening.
Just this morning, Kevin got his bare bottom whipped with the razor strap. He had been short-tempered with a few of his female employees, and he knows I don’t tolerate rudeness toward women.
But, I digress…
How Play Spankings Turned into Real Spankings
I remember the EXACT moment I decided to discipline my boyfriend FOR REAL. We’d had play spankings in the bedroom before, but I knew he needed more than that. He needed accountability and true consequences.
I realized that disciplinary spankings could provide that accountability; that even though spanking was a “kink” for us, it could also act as a strong negative consequence and deterrent IF DONE RIGHT.
It sounds so obvious now, but only a true spanko would know what I mean by this.
I was still going to listen to all the standard advice about how to build a strong relationship, but I would FILTER it as I saw fit. I knew enough about interpersonal development and behavioral psychology theory to nuture a healthy relationship with with my boyfriend in ways that got both our needs met.
The Moment When It All Began
The moment it all began occurred in the wee hours of the night when Kevin was having one of those “I’ve gotta have it” moments while I was fast asleep.
He was tossing and turning and kept waking me up asking if I wanted to make love. Well, begging was more like it. It was 2 am, I was facing a dissertation defense in the morning, AND I had a nagging scratch in my throat threatening to errupt into strep throat.
I woke up and grabbed some of our then “toys” out from under the bed. Included were an oak paddle with holes, a leather strap and a set of birches. The look on his face was one of surprise and utter fear. He’d woken me to fuck, not to get his butt whipped.
But a butt whipping is just what he got. I tied him down with scarves and scrunchies… anything I could find to make sure he couldn’t escape, then I whipped his butt until he was sobbing apologies.
After Getting His Bare Bottom Torn Up For Real, He Became the Most Attentive and Caring Partner Ever!
That was my moment, the moment I stopped being simply “Jessica” in our relationship and became “MISS Jessica.”
I went against the social norm and decided to take charge of my relationship, to get my needs met and to do what I know both of us needed.
I implemented a weekly spanking routine and established rules and consequences.
I gave him a curfew, a bedtime, a wakeup time and a weekly list of tasks.
Kevin was happier than ever, and so was I.
Shortly after that turning point, I became a liscenced behavioral therapist and life coach. I began working with men suffering from longstanding behavioral and relationship problems.
I was also starting to get calls from female friends in the spanko community for help implementing disciplinary programs in their own relationships. Then I started getting calls from friends of friends. Before long I didn’t know who was refering whom!
After much encouragement from Kevin I began to offer servicees as a professional disciplinarian to men in Manhattan and surrounding areas.
I opened Mis Jessica’s Den for men who don’t have disciplinarians and those whose romantic partners and play partners aren’t able to meet all their spanking needs.
In The End, And After Some Work . . . All My Passion and Drive Has Worked . . And in a BIG Way
Back when I started all this I never would have dreamed that . . .
- I would establish such strong relationships and friendships with so many clients
- I would be able to positively impact hundreds of submissive male spankees to lead happier and more fulffilling lives
- I would be interviewed by community kink leaders in Kansas City, Los Angeles and London
- My work with male spankos would end up literally saving dozens of relationships by retraining men to be more respectful and responsive to their partners
So, Here’s What I’m Coming To… Here’s What’s Being Demanded of Me… And Here’s What I Feel Compelled To Do
The need for someone to acknowlege, affirm and meet male spanko’s disciplinary desires is deep. In the spanko community, it’s considered quite alright for a women to “need” spankings, but men who “need” spankings are still often marginalized.
Self spanking men have questions that nobody’s answering: How can I make self spankings an effective negative consequence? Should I use spankings as a way to get my life together? How can I motivate myself to get shit done?
And self spanking men deserve answers.