Spanking lifestyle / Spanking yourself

How To Spank Yourself Effectively!

Position, swing and duration are the three critical aspects of an effective disciplinary self spanking. Here are three quick tips to help turn those cheeks rosy red and then some:

1. Position properly. Stand, bend over a piece of furniture, or lay on the bed with your bottom propped over pillows. These three positions should be your mainstays for self spanking positions. You must be able to raise your implement high above your bottoms and let it swish through the air before landing on your quivering cheeks.

2. Swing properly. For wooden implements, don’t push the implement through the air, snap it through the air. Get a lot of wrist action in at the end of the swinging motion so that on impact the implement bounces back. That’s what actually causes the pain with wooden implements. For leather implements, it’s not important to snap the implement back. Rather, continue the forward motion even after you’ve made contact. This will cause you to feel that extra bite as the leather digs into your skin.

3. Duration. Always have a set time limit or number of strokes. Never spank just until you feel you’ve had enough.

Today’s Assignment: PRACTICE!

Collect all the implements you own. Practice swinging with each until you’ve got it down. Then give yourself a 150 slap maintenance spanking with the implement of your choosing. That should leave you looking something like this:

tumblr_n6ha28ZQr81qd75yco1_500

 

If you want to integrate accountability in your life, become more goal oriented or just want to spank yourself anyway, you should consider, apart from reading the other articles here, to get the The guide for self spanking. It will teach you the backgrounds of spanking, some things to consider when starting first, and various scenarios in which spanking yourself is necessary. 

Check out the guide here or click on this image, to go directly to Amazon:

selfspankings-the-guide-for-selfspanking-how-to-spank-yourself

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61 thoughts on “How To Spank Yourself Effectively!

  1. Hi. I am new to the site so will start today with this practice session. I have tried many times but this is so specific. I will let you know how it goes.
    Amazing site and guidance

    Thank you
    Ron

    Like

      • Hi Miss Jessica

        I completed the practice session but made some amendments as I took 75 on the bare but then put my underpants back up for the rest. I need to adjust a bit as I spanked too hard too fast. I will let my bottom rest today and then try again to follow your instructions better. Felt wonderful but really want to step up and get it correct. I used a long handle bath brush.
        Thank you for your guidance.
        Always
        Ron

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      • Miss Jessica

        I was thinking about my next trial session starting with 50 over a nylon panty and then 100 on the bare? Perhaps it will help slow my strike force down a bit and while offer little protection the panty will help me get my bottom back in spanking shape.

        Is this acceptable to you?

        Happy New Year
        Respectfully
        Ron

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      • No problem. I will try next time. My bottom was sore. It’s been a long time and I know I smacked way to hard. Need better pace next time so I can take more. Plus it hurt and hard to finish when it hurts so much. I miss being over someone’s lap too.
        Thanks for commenting
        Ron

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  2. Hi Ron

    This is Joel! Please may I give you some advice! I am a self spanker who gets advice and orders from Miss Jessica! who is great and so is this blog! and as you may have read from my blogs! I also see a Mistress Disciplinarian once or twice a month! to give me that over the knee experience that I need every month that the self punishment does not always give me! that you are talking about missing so much.
    May I recommend for you to look one up! as a monthly service on top of your monthly self spankings! it will help you get over the very issues you are having at this time! and a Mistress will also help you to help you push your self! or should I say! train you way past that pain block! that you are having right now!! and these ladies know what they are doing as they are pro’s in the field of Discipline and Spanking and know how far to take your punishment. Remember no pain no gain! and a little pain and lots of reward at the end.

    Please I don’t want to sound like I’m butting in! but hope my advice can help! my life stile really works’ well for me with both the Mistress spankings’ and the self spankings! to keep my Discipline on track, and self needs met.

    Best wishes and luck to you – Ron

    Regards
    Joel

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    • Hi Joel

      Thank you so much for your comments. Your thoughts are most appreciated.

      I have in the past visited with a few lady disciplinarians but while rewarding I just don’t seem to get the connection I need. I was seeing one lady for a few years and our friendship was complimented by her giving me some memorable spankings. I saw her friend as well. Within a two month period both these ladies decided to retire. Living in NJ it is hard to find a trustworthy and nice lady but I am still looking.

      I really appreciate your advice. I will continue to experiment with self spanking and yes this blog is amazing. I will also keep my search active as well. I do crave the OTK experiences I had with my two ladies.

      Again thank you.

      Regards
      Ron

      Like

      • hey i was wondering if you could give me the names or contact info to your female disciplinarians? i live in NJ and really would love two females, or even 1.

        Like

      • .. at some point I should open up a directory of disciplinarians. Have you checked out craigslist? If it doesn’t yield I’ll open up a directory (and will need your info to fill it).

        Like

    • I congratulate you joel on becoming a good slave of miss jessica. M a new slave of miss jessica. You r a motivation for me. I want to become like you. Please give me some tips how i should do so that mistress will be pleased with me as she is satisfied with your obedience. Please guide me. My sole purpose is to please miss jessica. Can you suggest me some initiation punishment tasks before confessing anything to mistress jessica.

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      • I have not bought the guide but will do so next week. Regarding sites in NJ no ma’am there are not. We also have an issue here in NJ as many of the “doms” are looking for sex acts vs pure spankings.
        I am very cautious as have had some bad experiences in the past. I was in a groove for almost four years with a lady but She retired as did her friend. So I keep searching.
        I love this blog and the dialogue and guidance from your followers it is special.
        Thank you all I plan on my next session on Tuesday.

        Thank you
        Regards
        Ron

        Like

  3. Hi again Ron

    good for you Ron Experimenting is what it is all about! I know what your saying about trying to find that right! disciplinarian it sometimes takes time! and yes they some times come and go!. I think you are doing ok and just keep it up.

    What is important is that you document everything that you feel you need to be disciplined for! and that you punish yourself accordingly. That is what is great with having Miss Jessica Guide you along the way! but if you then document your punishments! and then send Miss Jessica a report like you see I do! at the end of each month!. Not only will Miss Jessica Appreciate your efforts! but also you shall feel and be able to see the true changes’ of your efforts of (Behaviour Vs Discipline) this can be very rewarding for you! and also give you an idea at the end of each month of what needs to be done! and the changes as far as your discipline is concerned.

    Miss Jessica will also have a better idea of your behaviour and be able to let you know what to do.

    Regards
    Joel

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    • Thank you again for the suggestions and guidance it is really nice of you.

      If you don’t mind me asking how do you send your reports to Miss Jessica? I would love to have her direct me as I know it will add reality to the spankings?

      Thanks again. I am working on finding a new lap and hoe to meet with a lady next month. She seems nice so far.

      Thanks again you are so kind.

      Regards
      Ron

      Like

  4. Hi Nader

    Thank you first for your compliment and happy new year.

    I don’t really see myself as a slave! but more like a student of discipline having a mentor and Tutor in Miss Jessica! I think what you need to see is that we all men and ladies at some point seek discipline! without it we are lost!. To be like me your first steps are first to be your self and to first look at your self issues and also your self issues and the issues you have that effect those around you and take accountability for one’s self! you need to read my Testimonial that Miss Jessica has put up on this blog! It will help you understand the long term process of discipline that I have taken! over a few decades to get to. Also read my punishment reports! that I have sent in the December Blog! this is the key to being not so much a slave but a good student of discipline! to your Tutor Miss Jessica who shall be able to teach you the discipline you seek if you are truthful to your Tutor! and send her documented report each month like a good student!! which after all is also discipline!.

    I think you are on the right track! but you just need to follow those few tips and I think you will find a great change and difference in your life and the discipline that come’s with it as it has for me.

    Good luck and best wishes.

    Regards
    Joel

    Like

  5. Hi Ron

    Good to see that you are looking into having both a Disciplinarian to spank you and going a head with your self spankings as well! as both are very different, and both are well needed on a monthly basis.

    I send my reports direct by simply sending a reply report as I am now to you! in the (Accountability Report Blog section) which you shall be able to see. It is a really good idea! and it really keeps’ you to account your behaviour and makes you start working harder to improve you behaviour each month! as lets face it no one likes to have a record that keeps reporting that one keeps’ getting punished for the same offenses each month!.

    Hope my advice has been of good assistance! and I really am glad that you are looking at taking your discipline to the level that you are.

    Regards
    Joel

    Like

    • Thanks Joel you have been amazing and I appreciate your help and guidance.
      I plan on starting Tuesday and will follow your lead as reports to Miss Jessica. Thanks.
      As for finding a lap I am very cautious as have had some bad experiences in the past. My lady was awesome but moved on and the search now is hard. It is mostly ladies who may not be so into spankings but just want you in and out. Also here in NJ many of them use spankings as a lead to pushing gofvsex acts.
      But I will move on and so appreciate all your assistance.
      Regards
      Ron

      Like

    • By the way I am not into the slave aspect but the pure spankings and correction of misdeeds or bad actions. I am a normal person like all just need guidance and direction and of course spankings to keep me in check.
      Thanks
      Regards
      Ron

      Like

  6. Hi Ron
    That is fantastic news about the reports to Miss Jessica and your Self Spankings! Yes the sooner you start the sooner you basically take control of your actions and self control in life! its a great life stile once one can settle into the pattern and get it right!.

    A few other tips about also finding that Mistress as well! so that you make it clear to them what you want! like I have done in the past some tips that have worked for me you may be interested in are……

    Make it clear that you do not have a sex fetish! and are into spanking and discipline not BDSM or SM! long before you start, and that sex is not what your about! only discipline and spanking only! In the past I have even gone as far as drawing a diagram of the spanking positions of spanker and spankee! if it is a first time! and this has worked wonders.

    Some ladies are newer to this than others’ and are still learning about us’ which need our help and experience it! whilst you will find those that have been swatting away on our behinds for years! and know every thing about your naughty ways! and know just what you need! I have recently luckily found such a Mistress so don’t give up! But even those that are not so experienced! can do an ok job if you guide them from the start in the right direction, as I have done with some ladies who have just started out in the past. With the Spanking world remember for all of us we are all Gentlemen and ladies often always learning something new from this interesting world of discipline.

    I also agree with you! I to do not see my self as a slave! but as a Student of Discipline! and look at my Disciplinarians’ as both my Tutors and Mentors! Guiding me into the right direction. As we all need Discipline in our lives! and you will agree a good spanking brings one down to earth and on track when we need it.

    Glad to be of help Ron! and I know Miss Jessica will sort you out! as she does with me when I need it.

    Regards
    Joel

    Like

  7. Good day,

    Not sure if this is where I should send this but wanted Ms Jessica to know I completed the test spanking session with delightful but painful results.
    I purchased the Guide and read it first as a pure erotic novel…amazing, any doubt that spanking is arousing for me eliminated. I the reread the book as I structural.
    So this morning, bleak cold rainy day I was alone at home. My head was in the right place so I simply wrote down one transgression about not getting a report done for work. I wrote it out in a diary and then wrote my scene of being called into my female boss’ office. I relaxed and stayed calm. I put on a pair of purple nylon panties that my former lap always made we wear for my spankings. I imagined my laying over her lap which was three pillows on the bed. I took another pillow and put it under my chest. Then relaxed for a few moments and then as I was in a great head space lowered the panty. I used the long handle wooden bath brush.
    Slowly I spanked myself with 50 slow deliberate spanks. I took the book’s advice and leaned slightly to the right sobrhe brush hit me on both bare cheeks. I stopped after 50 and rubbed with the brush side as my lap used to do. Took deep breath and began as sound a spanking as I could. Hard with long swings and fast with a count of 2 in between. I spanked the cheeks and got my upper thighs and sit spot. I landed a number of hard spanks right on the middle of my bottom. Hard. I barely could make the 100 but did and was breathless and sore. I laid there for a minute or two and since I could not use my hand gave myself an additional 50 or so as fast and hard as I could. That is what my lap use to do but with her hand. I was spent.
    I immediately got up and stood in the corner, panty down holding the brush.
    I stayed in the corner until my bottom cooled off. Got dressed cleaned up and started to work with much discomfort sitting.
    Amazing. That feeling of peace and bliss is still hanging on for me. I feel clean and spent.
    Thank you
    I have many transgressions to report and be spanked for but will let my bottom rest a bit.
    Love the book. Thank you so much.

    Regards from a pretty well spanked Ron

    Like

    • Ron, your comment is great! Keep reporting here, I look forward to it. I will publish Joel’s recent annual report, but I might consider one from you as well. You seem like a good self spanker.

      Like

      • I tried.
        I have another entry. This morning my scene was I was summoned to the boss and she wanted to reinforce our “discussion ” yesterday. I laid over the pillows in the purple panty then lowered the panty and applied 50 hard spanks with one of those thin souvenir paddles. Hard. I rested as my bottom was sore and then applied 50 more hard and fast. Then 5 minutes in the corner with the paddle.
        I will start my report and sunbmit it to you toward the end of the month.
        Feeling really good but tough to sit.
        Regards
        Ron
        Thank you

        Like

  8. Hi Miss Jessica

    It is in my nature to help out! and support everyone when support and credit is deserved which you deserve. Also I am very happy to help out others! if they seek some helpful advice as well! as I think helpful experience knowledge and advice is good to give to others at times’ and I like to help.

    I really appreciate your efforts, and all your help! as my online tutor and Disciplinarian! you help me out heaps! and also I must say my own Miss Melissa my Mistress hear at home also helps keep me also down to earth! as well with the other mostly (Over her Knee). Between both of you ladies, if it was not for you two fair ladies giving me what I need! to keep my feet on the ground! I would not have half the discipline I have and that is the truth.

    So I must say thank you so much.

    Kind Regards

    Joel

    Like

  9. Hi Miss Jessica

    I really do like helping out if others ask for it ! but I still dominantly want to be one of your students! as I have been all along the whole time! as you do a fantastic job! and help me out so much as at times I have needed that extra push.

    I have been giving myself a good hard maintenance spanking everyday with 20 good swats across my bear bottom every day this month so far! this month! and my behaviour has been really good! though I have picked up a few things I am taking to my mistress tomorrow on my day off! which she will sort me out over her knee! and I shall feel very very sore! but well disciplined after.

    I think you have a good idea! and if I can help! you in anyway please let me know! how I may be able to be able to assist you best! miss Jessica I do respect your blog and what you do!.

    Regards
    Joel

    Like

    • Hi

      Nice note Joel.

      Miss I will look in the guide for your email contact. I love the guide amazing book. One of the best I have read and digested.

      Thank you.

      I am to report tomorrow for a hard bare bottom spanking with a hard soled slipper. I will report.

      Thank you
      Respectfully
      Ron

      Like

  10. Thanks Ron

    Good to see you still taking a big interest in your spankings and keen.

    Good on you.

    Regards

    Joel

    Like

  11. Hi Miss Jessica

    I have been a very good student and have done as you have asked and given myself today my normal 20 maintenance spanks! with a wooden paddle across my bear bottom bending over my desk! at home with my underpants and shorts down! and then I thought as a student I thought the choice of a thin hooked fresh cane was appropriate for 30 very stinging strokes of the cane for my reminder to focus maintenance spanking. Those strokes left me with 30! very stinging red lines on my behind and stung like hell! enough to help me stay focused! thank you miss Jessica for my caning.

    My normal Mistress Melissa was unable to see me tonight due to late flights! so I have re scheduled for Sunday night at 8pm! think I might see if after she has given me a good over the knee thrashing on Friday night! if she can also give me a good caning as well! another good hard 20 or 30 strokes! would do me a lot of good!.

    Regards

    Joel

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Hi Miss Jessica

    I meet my Miss tonight for another very sore bottom experience tonight and she is very very good at it. As you know I have been seeing Mistresses since I was 22 and I have seen seven of them in that time! and that is due to them coming and going from the Town and City that I live in.

    As you know I am someone that is seeking in my sessions real discipline! as I feel the need for accountability and responsibility need in my life! all the time to help me stay on track!. , I do as I also expect! the very best from my self all the time and I do not except letting anyone else down or myself down! 100 effort in all things.

    My first true disciplinarian of course was my mother! but as you know from my own testimonial that when I left home at 18 I went on my own and then I had to become my own self disciplinarian for some time which I was not bad at as a self spanker from 18 – 22.

    At 22 it was at 22 that I tried this thing called a mistress in that was being advertised and as I was a young man and had a mother person in mind to take me in hand and punish me for the bad things that I rally wanted to be punished for! I found an ideal Mistress in her mid 40s! As that was the age of the dominant lady that I wanted to spank me! I would keep that going right through my 20s!.

    It was not until March last year! that I found my new Mistress a much younger Mistress than myself! as that was what was available to me!!. At first I thought a lady that is 8 years younger than I am! I have always gone for mistresses! in their 40s to spank me! this is not going to work!! well was I (WRONG) This Slender! late 20s lady may look like a young girl! fresh out of school, when you first meet her! but after all is said and done, and she becomes the (MISS DISCIPLINARIAN) and you need to be corrected for your latest misconduct’s! she is well and truly up for the job! and she has sent me home 9 time’s a very sorry boy! but she also takes a big care for me as well! before and after the hiding which makes a big difference.

    Well it is 7:12am in the morning our time! and I shall be seeing My Mistress at 8:00pm tonight! for my 10th hiding tonight! I shall let you know how it goes! and I shall be sitting on a very sore bottom for a few days after! that I know! but well deserved. I still have the discipline however to give myself the Maintenance spanking of 20 spanks today! I still get that! even with tonight’ s big spanking coming up. It all part of my monthly discipline plan! It means a bit of pain! but I am progressing lots and doing well thanks to all the spanks.

    As I keep saying! I have much to thank both of you two ladies for.

    Regards

    Joel

    Like

  13. Hi Miss Jessica

    It is now Monday night! the night after my ordeal with my Mistress! last night and I can tell you I am still sitting on a sore bottom, after last nights long! and hard normal over the knee experience.
    It really is sore on both cheeks! and right on the sit spot, and I would say will be for most of the week! when she does it! you come away feeling punished, and well disciplined! which lets face it is the whole point isn’t it!.

    The strange thing that is the hardest I find the bear the most though you know! is not actually the long hard painful blistering and scolding I get over my Mistresses knee! or the days of finding sitting on hard surfaces the greatest challenge! it is that last two hours’ that you have before you see your Mistress! and it does not matter what you do before you see her! you cant help it! the feeling of dread almost of what your about to put your self through! even though you have been through it many times before and will get through it again! it still happens! those 2 hours before the Spanking Punishment and the sore behind I have now for the next few hours! the worst is those two hours of waiting time.

    Having said all that! as you know, I really do respect and admire! my Disciplinarian Mistress, and she does a fantastic number on me. And she also likes to talk with me before and after and we chat about things before and after my punishment! which helps me a great deal.

    I am very very comfortable! with my current disciplinarian, and she does a real good job with me, as do you Miss Jessica.

    Ps I am still 100% not breaking down on my discipline! and sore bottom or not! I still gave my self my daily dose, of Maintenance self spanking today, of 20 hard spanks on my bear bottom with a plastic long spatula.

    Regards
    Joel

    Like

  14. Good day Miss Jessica

    Just an update. I gave myself a fast hard skippering yesterday for being rude. Over 300 spanks on my bare bottom.
    Will include in my report but since reading the book I have now had two brushing and two slipperings.
    Thank you for your guidance
    Ron

    Like

  15. Hi Miss Jessica

    I am just letting you know that I will send you my January report on the first of Feb as I shall have completed all my maintenance spankings and punishments by then! I have also booked a second monthly spanking punishment with my Mistress Tuesday night the 31st January so that will also end up in the report.

    As normal Miss Jessica I shall send you a report with everything that has happened on the 1st of Feb.

    Regards

    Joel

    Like

  16. Pingback: How To Find a Disciplinarian | Selfspanking

  17. The photo next to “How To Spank Yourself Effectively!” on the Topics page has to be one of the ugliest pictures of a spanked bottom I’ve ever seen. Honestly, it’s disgusting. It certainly has no business illustrating any serious discussion of self spanking.

    Like

    • Me again, Miss Jessica. Sincerest thanks for changing that picture. To a great extent, the prevailing online photographic image of a Naughty Boy (ie. a boy in need of a soundly spanked bottom) needs all the help it can get. Why there are so few young male models working as Fem-Dom spanking submissives is beyond me.

      Like

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